The Life and Times of the Brown Family...

So I've been trying for almost two weeks now to get a picture of Mady with her eyes open. But as soon as the flash goes off on the camera, she shuts her eyes - so every picture looks like she's sleeping. Hopefully today with some sun I can turn the flash off and get some pictures of my alert baby girl. She's so aware already and so bright. I thought newborns were sleepy and dozy for a while? Not her! We did get one picture with her eyes open but its not a close up, it's of me and her but I decided to post it anyway. It's so nice to be able to post pictures again, it was driving me BONKERS not to be able to show off my babies (Jack would be the other "baby").

So I've started SERIOUSLY searching for an apartment in HRM. Time to get this ball rolling. Not that its likely but if any of you know a landlord in HRM, send them my way :) Its time to get the hell out of here and get my life in order - my daughter requires it, and for that matter so do I.

The public health nurse came on Friday and stayed for over an hour talking to me. Because of the depression I suffered from as a teen and the PTSD I'll have for the rest of my life it puts me at a far greater risk for post partum depression so I have to be "watched". She said if family or friends notice something is off then I have to get my ass in to see someone and not let it go. For the sake of Mady. *sighs* This PTSD is getting on my nerves and its not something that alot of people even know about but it holds me back, not because I allow it mind you, but it affects some of the decisions that I make and how I deal with things.

Am I alone in the observation that blogging is terribly cathartic?? If days go by that I can't get online or atleast read up on everyone elses lives - then I feel disconnected somehow.

Anyway - this is sort of a hodge podge of stuff today and I will be back on later to post any pictures I can get once she's awake again, plus Jack will be here after he goes to church. And in regard to Tam's post about meeting online, Krista (Jack's mom) has met someone online who is everything she wants and then some. He lives in Peterborough Ontario (my old stomping ground) and I'm pretty sure I know him. I'll get into my Ontario years in another post. His name is Mark and he makes her glow. She feels like she is too large to meet him so she has asked him for 4 months to get "slim" and then she wants to meet up for New Years with him (he's going to come down). We aren't going to tell my mother, because all she will see is the possibility of Krista leaving NS and moving to Ontario and right now, that is SO NOT the important part of it all. I want her happy, loved and she and Jack to be taken care of.

Ok that's enough of my thoughts for one blog.

My love to you all - and if you want to read a beautiful love story as it unfolds, read Tam's blog.

Ter