Sunday, July 30, 2006

Bridge Over Troubled Waters...

Well it's been an emotional couple of days. My hormones are rocking all over the place and Doug showed up here last night in a bad mood. So we fought, I cried... typical crap for us. I hate doing this all alone and it affects the way I deal with him. When I should let stuff slide off my shoulders, it sticks and I get a tad crazy.

The baby is very active today and the last little while. Or should I say as active as she can be getting squished inside me. I'm getting nervous about the delivery now - I don't want an epidural (too many horror stories) so I want to do this natural which I know will involve pain. Then again I survived the miscarriages by myself with no pain meds so I can't see this being much worse and like I said in a previous post at the end of it I'll be holding my little girl. I'm going to take a list of phone numbers with me to the hospital on D-Day so I can call and let people know. Although I don't know if I can call long distance from the hospital or not or a certain someone in Alberta would be my first call. I'll get a list together for my mother to call though as soon as she can get her head out of her own ass.

Mom is really fighting me on this whole church thing - I don't want my baby being dragged to church or all over the place to prove how great of a grandmother she is. I don't really trust her to follow what I say when it comes to my baby and it bothers me that I feel that way. But I know how she is and she doesn't respect me or my beliefs so it's causing some tension. Oddly enough, the aunt that I fought with my entire teenage life is quickly becoming the closest family member (besides Krista) to me. Aunt Darla and I spent YEARS fighting and not speaking and now she has become the mother I always wished I had. She supports my decisions and my beliefs and what I want to do with my baby. It's amazing. She's even willing to go to bat with my mom, which few people are willing to do. Mind you, I think at 27 I shouldn't be scared of my own mother or standing up to her but the woman is mildly insane I swear and battling with her always gets WAY uglier than it needs to be.

So I have bread on rasing, a cake in the oven and am about to start sweet and sour meatballs for supper. I have all the dishes done and I need to do some vacuuming so I should get my ass off this thing and get my stuff done. My love to you all.

Ter

2 Comments:

Blogger kicking-and-singing said...

Hey chick, I understand completely if I'm not the first one to get a call letting me know that She has been born, and by the way things are going she will be here before we know it...I miss you like crazy, I have Wednesday and Thursday off....
Your mother is your mother, nothing is ever going to change that, and I rememeber talking with you about some of the arguments you and your Aunt would get into. It is good that she is being so supportive of you now, you need the supposrt of all who can give it to you, especially right now, I may be far awasy from you but you know my support is always there when you need it. Love you Lots, Take care girl.*H*
Tam

9:04 PM  
Blogger NanNan said...

I'm getting excited thinking about the imminent birth--a new life/love- I laughed when I read your comments about shouldn't have to please mothers at 27--- trust me, even at 50- you'll still be looking for her approval-- I know all about that--- had issues with my mom too-- I think it goes along with the umbilical cord!!! Will be thinking of you ---

7:13 PM  

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