WHY OH WHY????
Do I allow this shit to go on??? He has TOLD me he's moving to Edmonton and that he doesn't love me anymore and yet he shows up here and I open my heart and arms to him, to wipe away his fears, or help him deal with something. I know all his banking information because he's useless with it and someone needs to control those things for him... so why is that still me?? He borrows money from me, he gets me to babysit Chris, rub his back, his feet or his legs and I STILL DO IT. I make all these plans in my head - that's it! I'm standing firm! No caving and the next time he's in front of me I can't say no. He needs me and I am a big bowl of jello. He treats me like CRAP and I cry so much so many nights and then he's back again and I'm lost all over again! I get so mad at myself.
All this pregnancy stuff too, doctors appointments and things - I don't want my mother with me... AT ALL and yet I have no choice because I need a ride there so how else do I pull that off living 45 minutes from the city? I just want to have my baby and get away from these PEOPLE.
Also they just called because I have a fetal assessment on the 21st at 9 am. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE A FETAL ASSESSMENT?? No explaination. No nothing. So now I sit and chew my nails until next Friday and I worry. Is it because of the cyst?? Or is something else wrong??
I want to move to Alberta.
Ter
All this pregnancy stuff too, doctors appointments and things - I don't want my mother with me... AT ALL and yet I have no choice because I need a ride there so how else do I pull that off living 45 minutes from the city? I just want to have my baby and get away from these PEOPLE.
Also they just called because I have a fetal assessment on the 21st at 9 am. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE A FETAL ASSESSMENT?? No explaination. No nothing. So now I sit and chew my nails until next Friday and I worry. Is it because of the cyst?? Or is something else wrong??
I want to move to Alberta.
Ter
posted by Tymber at 8:06 AM
1 Comments:
why oh why ?
I am going to do what I always do with you Ter and that is be honest.
It's becaue you are a good woman with an even better heart, and he knows that he can come and go as he pleases because you have this great capacity of love in you...
But Ter you also have to remember, you are a strong woman, and you need to do what you feel is best for you and your little girl. ou need to be able to take care of you so that you can take care of her, Doug is a grown man who already has a son, he needs to learn to grow up and take care of his own shit...
But that's just me, and you know what I am like...
And you know that whatever you decide, I've got your back chick.
Love Tam
Post a Comment
<< Home