Lips of an Angel...
I have so much new found respect for single moms. Don't get me wrong, I always had respect for them but now that I'm actually doing this... it's amazing how much goes into it.
Doug has been making noises lately, that perhaps he won't be going out West. I think he's far more enamoured with his baby girl then he expected to be. His main concern at this point though, is my finding someone new to share my bed and my life and him being left in the dark. But you know I lay awake at night with Mady laying on my chest and I think how much I would never want to go through all this again. So I've decided to get my tubes tied. I don't regret one thing that has occured - from getting pregnant, to having my baby girl to ANY of it but I don't want to do it ever again. And like I said before I'll get a BIG (extra extra large) dog and Mady and I will do our thing. I'll raise her and she can know her father for who he is and the rest of it can take care of itself. I love Doug far too much, I will never deny this, to try and be with anyone else or to even contemplate it. However part of me is starting to accept that we don't work, we will never work. We made an amazing little girl together and I am so grateful everyday that she exists but I think perhaps thats all we were supposed to do. The rest of it is volatile and painful and keeps going back and forth between us and I can't do much of it anymore.
Anyway - my little angel is awake so I must run.
Thinking about making a documentary of Mady's first year or so - and posting it online for ya'll to watch.... just an idea and wanted to see if anyone was interested in that or not.
Love you all -
Ter
posted by Tymber at 8:11 AM
5 Comments:
Isn't it amazing how this new little life puts things into focus--- you sound like your head, heart, and soul are so focussed on cherishing Mady--- so wise--- sounds like Doug has his own issues to sort out, but you are so together; whatever happens with Doug, happens; but you'll always be Mady's mom---- I wish I had had your wisdom and perspective when Chris was born, into chaos--- much respect and love for you----
You are a wonderful young ladie.
I can see why you are so important to Tam.
Mady is beautiful, and growing.
Take care
The documentary is a great idea, and what a treasure for Mady to have----- don't think about it too long, or the year will be gone in the blink of an eye!!!!!!
Hey CHick,
I think the documentry would be wonderful, then not only will we have these wonderful pictures to see, but we'll be able to see so much more, and it isn't just Mady's growht we will be witnessing, it will be your growth as a mother, finding your wings as you go.
Love to you both.
Tammie
I ditto the doc. idea... I love docs and think it would make such a special keepsake for Mady when she is older... or even better, something you can haul out when she brings home her first boyfriend! LOL!
G.
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